My Canoe Trip to Oneida Settlement

My friend, Rose, had told me about the upcoming canoe trip and I was so excited to take part in this meaningful and exciting journey. A group of people were to canoe from London to the Oneida Settlement to experience the traditional culture.

For myself, the trip has become memorable in many ways. I value and respect Mother Earth and the beauty that surrounds me every day. The canoe trip offered me a chance to see wild flowers by the river bank, bald eagles flying high above, a deer running through the woods, turtles bathing in the sun, numerous species of birds singing their beautiful songs, the changing landscape, and the gorgeous blue sky that somehow was bluer than usual.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

There were moments of excitement like pointing to a giant snapping turtle or rushing to pick up items from a tipped over canoe. But there were many opportunities to meditate and be at peace and to take it all in.  There were times that I felt so peaceful and happy loving the warm sun, the cool breeze, listening to the gentle flow of the river. I felt a great sense of gratitude and appreciation for the new experiences and how fortunate I was to enjoy Mother Earth and all its beauty.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

As we were setting up tents for our first stop at Delaware flats, I could not wait to settle down for the night and just enjoy sitting by the campfire. When the time came, I was content. There were many moments where I was able to meditate and be one with the nature around me. Staring into the fire, wind blowing the smoke over my whole body, the sun setting down, wild flowers shining under the glow of the sun’s rays, the sound of the river gently rushing by, the birds trying to sing one last song at dusk, the stars showing up one by one and all of a sudden having a sparkling blanket above. People talked about many topics, there were serious discussions and many moments of laughter followed by moments of reflection.

Tim Miller of Nova Craft and his wife Theresa  who live close by the area joined us that night, treating us with smores. I was glad to have met these people who generously donated all the canoes for the trip and were great hosts, welcoming us to their home and sharing their knowledge and expertise.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

The next day, I woke up early feeling happy, well-rested, and cheerful. I stayed quiet for the longest time listening to the river, the birds, and was intentional of about my experience. I wanted to remember how the air smelled in the morning, and how I was feeling. I loved being in nature and for the first time in my life, I had slept so close to the river that it’s gentle flow was music to my soul. Finally, I could not keep it all in and said out loud “This is beautiful, I LOVE THIS” and the reply came, “Oh shut up”! It was a gorgeous morning to wake up to. Some people had already kept the fire going and brewed fresh coffee. I really loved the experience.

Our second day of canoeing was calmer and there were more meaningful reflections about myself and how I related to the world around me. There were some fun times in between as well. We had a great laugh when Mike had picked up some wild flowers from the river bank and came close to our canoe saying “Hey warrier princess, I got flowers for you”, then they all started calling me Pocahontas. (Photo to come)

When we got to the Oneida Settlement we noticed Oneidas waiting on the bridge for us holding the sixnations flag, waving to us saying welcome to our home. I got teary eyes filled with emotion and gratitude, thinking I was only a spec in this universe and it is through humanity, spiritual connection with the nature, and respecting those who were here before us that we can find peace. When we got off our canoes and stepped to the grounds, the paddlers who were of First Nation background walked towards us and started shaking hands and hugging us with big smiles and nodding heads; implying the success and the value the journey had in it. This also is one of the highlights of the trip for me to remind me that we are all here on this planet together and we have a lot more in common than we know.

Oneida Settlement

We drove to the cookhouse, and as we entered we were greeted by friendly faces and welcomed with open arms.  The feast they had prepared for us was great and we all enjoyed sitting around the long tables taking it all in.

That night there was more campfires and good company with an added bonus. We took part in their social event. We went to the longhouse, which was made of beautiful oak wood with the traditional design. I was most impressed by how young people took charge of the ceremony - chanting, singing, and dancing, while the elders sat back and watched over them. They had strong and beautiful voices. Again, here I had mixed feelings of joy and spiritual connection. At times I closed my eyes to only listen to their voices and imagining myself hundreds of years ago on these grounds dancing and chanting with them and going in a circle. I did get a chance to join in and dance with them. I was delighted with the experience. Being welcomed to their circle and to experience this spiritual connection is something that I will keep with me forever.

Longhouse

The next morning, Chief Howard Elija came over to share his wisdom and history of his people. He performed the cleansing ceremony with sage and we became emotional at times and some of us had teary eyes. As human beings, some of the deep connections we make with each other do not require words or acknowledgment. We can feel each other’s pain or joy in our body and soul. When the chief was done I asked him if I could hug him. I found peace in his arms.

When I got home I looked at the many photos that had captured the spirit of our team and the purpose of the trip. One of the pictures stood out. The one with Chief Howard Elijah of Oneida put a smile on my face and at the same time a sadness washed over me that I could not explain. Upon reflection, I started crying realizing after many years of not having my dad, on Father’s day, I had been in the company of someone who not only reminded me of my dad, but in a short period of time I had come to admire and respect as a spiritual and community leader.

Upon further reflection and going back over the sequence of events, I realized the magnitude and impact of my interactions with the chief and his people.  The gradual spiritual experience had silently begun with Rose sharing the canoe trip with me and extending an invitation for me to go along with her. I had been really excited not only for the long distance canoeing but also to experience the first nation culture up close and personal. I was humbled and honored to have been invited to their home and to take part in their traditional social event. I was grateful to have experienced the spiritual journey as well as having met fantastic people who paddled with us.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

The beauty of the trees,

the softness of the air,

the fragrance of the grass,

speaks to me.

The summit of the mountain,

the thunder of the sky,

the rhythm of the sea,

speaks to me.

The strength of the fire,

the taste of salmon,

the trail of the sun,

and the life that never goes away,

they speak to me.

And my heart soars."

Chief Dan George

Related Article: Paddlers Learn to Use Their Brains - The London Free Press

Facebook Page: Paddling Back to Traditional Culture - Thank you to Barry Gallow and Tim Miller and everyone else who had a role in planning this trip. Please like their page and show support.

AS A DECADE FADES

I was randomly searching minimalism one day when I came across Joshua Fields Millburn’s name and his novel, “As a Decade Fades”. He had tweeted a specific line that resonated with me and I didn’t need convincing to go online and order his book.  When the book arrived I could not put it down. 

As a Decade Fades is an easy read. It is simple, yet complicated.  Jody’s story is our story in many ways and it is not in some ways. The reader is hooked not by extravagant use of words and complicated plots, but we are pulled in as we read about real life experiences like our own.

There is a nice balance between humor and tragedy. There are points in our lives where we question ourselves and the paths we’ve have walked. Is it time for a detour?  

“He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but one day he woke up halfway between somewhere and nowhere and he was twenty-something and nearing thirty as the decade faded.”

As I read  “…Safety inside the prison –freedom from freedom….” , I closed my book listening to Chopin. I went back in time, remembering when I opened my one suitcase on a bed of a settlement, temporary housing for refugees. I felt safe and optimistic about my future, but sad knowing what I had left behind. A single suitcase on a bed was loaded with tragic and triumphant stories.  Jody’s story was my story.

Jody’s character keeps reminding himself to focus on the present and leave the past behind. But we truly can never separate ourselves from our pasts. “…how pointless this life might be without a past, and how miserable it was with one.”

Falling While Sitting Down – “The boy did not want to remember much about that Man, so he didn’t.” His childhood was filled with various forms of abuse and trauma. He really did not have supervision or role model of any kind growing up.“…the boy made friends with various elements of certain fringe social blocs….but he never attempted to adapt to their tenets or fully integrate into any one particular group…”  I just wanted to reach out inside the book and hold little Jody. Jody grew up like the rest of us with “…a duffle bag filled with painful memories and future regrets.”

I love music, rain, solitude at times, I don’t  sleep well most of the times, have had failed relationships, lost people due to natural causes or suicide,….in so many ways Jody is us and we are him. When he is sitting on the rooftop writing his songs and thinking about the rain… that is the most beautiful part for me. “But things hadn’t always been this way, and his life hadn’t always been held together by trepidation and disdain and by the sum of what love wasn’t.” Or when he writes for his mom, “People don’t know how to love the ones they love until they disappear from their lives”. We all have lost people in our lives and in that moment we can relate to Jody and what he is feeling.

Jody’s adult sex life is filled with extremely beautiful young women that are described mostly as Caucasians, with blond hair, with perfect slim bodies and FLAT STOMACHS! This is exactly what a patriarchal society tells us a beautiful woman should look like!  There is a brief reference where the author tries to challenge society’s patriarchic view of women by posing this question: “How come guys can have sex with all kinds of women and we’re considered manly or whatever, but if a women has more than one partner, she’s a slut?”  But the conversation that follows is of sex humor and more misogynistic comments. 

I found the speeding ticket part of the book extremely funny.  I got my first ever speeding ticket last year when I was taking my sick child and myself to the doctor’s office and was feeling miserable. The officer said: “Maam, you were going 78 in 50 Km zone!” All I could think was **** I wasn’t even blasting my favourite song or rolling my window down and changing lanes. What a shitty way to get a ticket! As a Decade Fades provides the reader with an experience that is very personal. You’d think that was me! I did that or said that. The whole car ride with the music and jokes was hilarious.

“Sometimes love is sad. Sometimes it drops your heart from a great height and it shatters into a million tiny shards, and those shards are sharp and painful.” And of course the story cannot be without love and heartache. There are many simple but profound lines in the book that deal with love and relationships and who we are. 

Jody shows us that we are not perfect. We may have had a rough childhood and many unpleasant experiences growing up and even throughout our adult lives. That is the reality of life. We will face many struggles and triumphs. As a Decade fades says it best: “Perhaps one must sit in the valley to see the beauty of the mountaintop, to appreciate his ascent, to live a purpose-filled life. And perhaps the key is to not live in the valley, but rather, to be aware of why you were there and prepare for the journey ahead.”

I enjoyed reading As a Decade Fades as it reminded me I am only human and I am entitled to make mistakes and to learn from them. It also teaches us about hope and optimism, although I feel like I have to read a follow up story to learn about Jody’s life in Ohio with the “Girl in the White Summer Dress”.

“Lie by me, we can be alone together. 

Lie to me, we can believe these lies forever.”

A Moment in Time

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there was a certain Stillness in the air


overwhelming gratitude came over her for being there and to make a beautiful memory that was hers and hers alone


her love for recognizing not so obvious beauties around her gave her that extra edge


the beautiful colours of autumn leaves on the ground made her eyes travel to those colours on the wall leading up to the tunnel 



she could see the hands of those hard at work trying to tell a story of their own by leaving something behind


The tunnel was mysterious in itself with old stone walls leading to an enchanted forest perhaps



the arched entrance gave her a feeling of going back in time hearing old souls echoing in space


As she was leaving she heard a secret melody...

Photo Credit: Cindi Talbot

How I Turned My Life Around - From Size 16 to 2.

Fall 2007

I am neither a nutritionist nor a personal trainer. If you want to learn how to count calories or how to measure your pulse, this blog is not for you! And most importantly, Consult with your Doctor first regarding any physical activities.


This blog is not about how to lose weight. Rather, it’s about giving you hope to motivate and to inspire you, knowing I turned my life around only by sheer determination. 

August 2008

This is my story...

It was right after a friend’s wedding in August 2009 that I looked at my own picture and became overcome with a feeling of shock. Up to that point, I had not been aware of the drastic changes in my body over the years. I had neglected myself emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Two months prior, I had just ended a 20 year marriage that had left me with more questions than answers about where my life was headed.  Here I was, a single mother of two with a decent job and no other means of support in any form or shape. It was me and only me. I wanted to look good and feel good. I wanted to do something for me and only me.  This wasn’t about society telling me I had to look a certain way. This wasn’t about impressing anyone. This was about me realizing that my health was in danger. I was someone who took pride in eating healthy and keeping fit but for many reasons I had decided to ignore that part of my life style and let go of it. I had taken nutrition courses while in college and I used to read a lot of articles pertaining to health. And here I was with back pain, shortness of breath, and aching muscles.

I don’t like to weigh myself. I even won’t remember the pounds or kilos to tell you. I don’t own a scale! I do remember being size 14-16. I had no money to join the gym nor did I like the idea of joining a gym. I had no money to go on a special diet or those programs that we are bombarded with every day. So, what did I do?

I knew a crash diet was out of the question. I can’t starve myself as years ago I had done it and just made myself sick. I even don’t like the word diet. This time around I told myself I am going to have a different approach. I will be working towards a healthier life style gradually, slowly, steadily, and with patience. I told myself for decades I have neglected myself, therefore, I think I can afford to be patient for an optimal result in a couple of years.  For the most part of my life I was size 10-12. I knew getting from a size 16 to 10 required time. I had to start with simple steps.  I was determined to eliminate the unnecessary stuff in my life and replace them with things that brought joy and health.

I started reading a lot online and soon I figured out all those articles are giving the same messages:

*Do not eat 3 big meals a day; rather eat throughout the day up to 5 to 6 times/day

*Eat almost everything you want in small portions

*Eat healthy (Canada's Food Guide)

*Don’t eat after 7 pm

*Drink plenty of water

 It sounded simple and the only requirement was my willingness to stick with it, be patient, and wanting to do it for me. I was determined to turn my life around and to be healthy. I had started having back pains, muscle aches, all sorts of problems that are associated with being overweight. I wanted to be healthy and fit.

I started paying attention to my daily routine and questioned them as to be necessary or just bad habits that I had gained gradually without paying attention.  I noticed that every morning I stopped by my favourite coffee shop and ordered a large coffee with cream and sugar; and a delicious, buttery fresh muffin.  I decided to go for the muffin every other day at first. I did not want to eliminate everything at once. I started reducing the amount of cream and sugar. Next, I replaced the cream with milk and eventually eliminated the sugar. It was gradual and I did not feel deprived or frustrated to say the hell with it, I’m going back to the way it was. I stopped buying a muffin every day. I had a habit of being hungry before coming to work. I made sure I had a healthy breakfast which for years has not changed, raisin bran cereal with 2% milk. I don’t have a fancy breakfast with all calories counting.  

Lunch time at work was either left over from the night before or rushing across the street to buy something to eat and I ate everything! I decided to buy a bag of bread which I kept in the fridge at work plus a jar of peanut butter. Why peanut butter? It was affordable, easy for lunch, enjoyed eating it, and it was a regular source of protein for me. 

For dinner, I ate anything I wanted to but started reducing my portion. 

But something else needed to be done.....I had to keep Moving....

Summer 2009

I have always enjoyed walking. I had actually come across an article in early 2000 that talked about “Walking it off”. In 2002, I started walking and shed lots of pounds. Based on experience and knowing that I enjoyed walking and it had work in the past for me, I added walking to my daily routine.

*I walked 15 min during my am break. A very fast power walk as strolling yourself has no effect!

*I walked 15 min during my pm break.

* I walked a very fast 20 min lunch walk and had 10 min to gobble down my peanut butter sandwich

*Every time I got back to work, I climbed 4 flights of stairs rather than taking the elevators. Learn how to walk! 

For a short period of time from Jan 2009 to 2010 I took up Kung Fu and boxing and loved it. I eventually bought a boxing bag to practice on my own in the basement. The bottom line is to find out what you like to do and do it. Not everyone works out in the gym! Not everyone counts their calories morning and night. Be sensible and make it easy for you and the chances are you’ll stick with it. I love boxing and it helps me tremendously to get rid of negative energy and keeps me fit. You can read many benefits of boxing here.

2009 - 2010

But what else did I do? I love dancing. I danced. Every opportunity I had, I’d play music at home and just danced away. The combination of dancing, walking and healthy eating was working faster than I expected. Again, since I don’t weigh myself, I did not realize I was shrinking till I had to use a safety pin to hold my pants up. At that point I was probably a size 8 or 10.  

Xmas 2009 

Once people started realizing my shrinkage they started asking what I was doing. I told them I’m eating healthy and I’m walking it off! When I finally decided to buy new pairs of pants as all my clothes looked ridiculously too big, I picked up two pairs of pants size 8 and headed to the fitting room.  To my surprise they were too big! I double checked the size and couldn’t understand it. The fitting room attendant said “Oh honey, I’ll bring you size 4!” I was like what? I was size four!!! In the fitting room I held my own face looking at my own body and could not believe I had gone beyond what I had intended. It was exhilarating to know I had reached my goal, and I did it without diet, or gym. That has been of one my top accomplishment in my life so far.

  

Fall 2010

I was very good in track and field throughout school years. I started reading more about my favourite athletes. I was finding my way back doing things I enjoyed, cared about and was passionate about. It was motivating to read about their accomplishments and just get excited to see their accomplishments, breaking records, and reaching their goals. I have been a huge fan of the athletics as long as I can remember.I became more motivated I started adding running gradually to my routine. 

2011

I couldn’t run far, but I felt great even for that 5 minutes. I was free. The minutes were getting longer and longer. I ran my first 5K in 30 minutes. I’m planning to do more runs and have set goals for myself.

Summer 2012

I continued steadily to a size 2, but have been sitting at a stable size 4 for 1 year now.  I try to fit walking into my daily routine. The longest walk I’ve done has been 18 Km. I can complete 4.2 Km walk in 25 to 30 minutes.  I am aiming to do bigger walks and sporting events.

I hope this blog has been able to give you hope and understanding that we are able to stay healthy and fit by doing little steps. Those little steps eventually lead you to where you want to be. 

If you have loads of money to throw a personal trainer and a dietician, go for it. If you don’t have the financial means, know that you can do it with persistence and stamina. Find out what activity you enjoy and do it. The only advice I can give you is to keep moving, eat healthy, don’t deprive yourself and most importantly do things that make you happy.

...start moving

This article was posted on Facebook today: The Ultimate Guide to Fat Loss! 

Beauties in the World

I read the email invitation from the fundraising committee for Friday night, April 27, 2012. I scanned the email very quickly and these words stood out:  “Wine”, “Art”, “Craft” and “fun”. I told myself, “This is going to be fun. I’ll get to know new people and have fun.”  On the night of the “Wind and Art” party, I had a hard time deciding what to wear! After all, it was a Wine and Art Party! I was excited. When I got there, Angie, the lady of the house greeted me with open arms. I saw some of the guests in the kitchen and soon was informed that everybody was in the basement and has already started working. As I headed downstairs I realized this was not a fancy art and wine show with women walking in their expensive gowns holding their wine glasses and critiquing art!! I saw a very organized basement full of arts and crafts stuff. I saw a table with people busy at work. We got to work. Some already were painting chimineas. We were all assigned different tasks.

As the evening progressed, I was thinking quietly about these people sitting around the table on a Friday night and volunteering their time for a great cause. They were part of the fundraising committee who have been actively meeting regularly every week and for months had put their skills, abilities and connections to work to solicit donations in the community towards “WINE, DINE, & SHOWTIME” which is Sexual Assault Centre London’s yearly fundraising event.  They had volunteered their time walking door to door, asking for donations. And here they were painting, cutting, knotting, and labelling. They could be anywhere to have fun but they chose to be there to complete the task and they were doing it while having fun. 

The basement was filled with laughter, jokes, personal stories, and just pure joy. 

I truly felt honoured to be in their company. I shared some of my personal stories and how I miss my family. And a few of them together said “We are your family now”. I had teary eyes and felt so much love and affection from these people that up to that night I only had seen their names in my emails or briefly had met. I was indeed fortunate to have met everyone that night.

 I shared with them my dilemma of choosing the right outfit that night and they all started laughing. It was pretty funny, come to think of it! Soon they started teasing me about that. We shared food and more personal stories. It was a beautiful night and we got lots done while having fun. I carry my camera everywhere with me and as I was taking their pictures I knew I had to do something to recognize their work. These women don’t expect to get anything in return. They are volunteers. But I just wanted to do something for them as they deserved to get recognition for their hard work. Without them there would be no “WINE, DINE & SHOW TIME” event!

The next day, some of us met again in the afternoon to show support for the Derby girls who were raising funds for Sexual Assault Centre London (SACL). The first thing they said when they saw me was “Did you know what to wear today? We were there from 5:30 to sometime after 9:00 pm then headed out to apk live  to celebrate with the Roller Derby girls. It was another wonderful day spent with beautiful people.

 Next Friday night I was there again. The night was filled with fun, food, laughter and I was grateful that Angie had opened up her heart and her home to us, being such a gracious wonderful hostess as well as volunteering her time.
 

The event took place on May 25, 2012. Everyone was assigned a position. Here there were again but not just as guests sitting down and enjoying themselves, but rather hard at work trying to keep everything together. They did work super hard that night and I noticed how they faced challenges that came their way with grace, kindness, and professionalism. I saw them also having fun. I also witnessed moments of triumph and sense of pride when they hugged or high-fived each other. I saw eyes making connections, smiling, nodding, and expressing relief that all their hard work paid off. I have never seen a better group than SACL’s fundraising team. What they did was the impossible. They not only made it possible, they did it with sincere love and passion that is very hard and rare to find anywhere else.   

Photos by Mike Maloney/London Community 

I made a video for our volunteers to capture the importance of their work, the priceless value that they bring to SACL and to give them recognition. I would have loved to see them being recognized at the gala but the program was already full. They did get recognition at the gala when they played the video. I was so proud of them and it made me really happy to watch and hear the reaction of all the guests when they watched the video.

I also met someone else that night.  He was another volunteer who was in charge of audio/visual for our event. When I met him, he was sitting on the floor preparing balloons with the rest of the team. 

It was very easy to get along with him. He was calm, reserved, and very smart! I have to thank him here and acknowledging that without him I would not have been able to do my part! I don’t wear a watch. As stage manager you have to know what time it is to be able to follow the program. So, I was at his side constantly asking what time it was. And soon I guess he figured why I was there and started pointing to the program and the time showing where we were. I am ever grateful for my time keeper! You rocked that night and thank you!
 

Photos by Mike Maloney/London Community 

The group has met two times after the event to discuss feedback, results, and most importantly, to celebrate their success and to validate the importance of the work they do. 

Last time we were together, we shared that it wasn’t just about fundraising and donations. It was about a group of people developing such strong bond and relationship that we can call ourselves “family”.  People who worked in that group were sincere and the love was portrayed through their hard work and the success they brought to the event.  Fundraising is not an easy task. 

I personally have never been involved with fundraising. But witnessing how much work and time it requires and the amount of energy spent, I salute these volunteers and am very proud to have been part of their work for a couple of hours. I would love to and be more than happy to participate and volunteer my time with any projects or any other volunteer work that each of them may have. I would not hesitate to give them my time as they gave their time to SACL. Life goes on, people move on, but I will never forget the love you gave me and how warmly you received me. Rest assured that what you’ll get back from me is pure love, affection, gratitude and sense of humbleness. I sincerely love all of you and will keep you in my heart wherever life takes me. Gratitude. 

Photo by: Ruthless Images

Special Thank you to Sue and Linda for their great leadership and motivating the team. You are amazing and you did a wonderful job with your "Dream Team"!

You are the beauty in the world!

 The only regret that I have is not remembering to have a group photo of all of you on the night of the gala!!!