Momentary Defeat - A Frosty Long Run

I ran to the gas station with my hands crossed in front of my chest and fingers tucked in under my armpits. I was in tears and asked the clerk if I could stay there for a while….

Every Saturday night I have my ritual. I make sure my running gear is prepared for the next morning.  I also make sure I have my yoga mat and yoga clothes for after the run.  

Sunday morning came around and there was a fresh layer of snow on the ground. I was feeling good physically and was looking forward to my run. When I got to the running room, I found Paul and said I’m staying with you buddy as we need to get this 21K done quickly. He’s been pacing us very well for the past few weeks and I tend to stay with whoever is leading at the front. I get my energy from them and motivation to go at a faster pace. It was past 8:30 all other groups had left but our group was still inside. Bridget, Paul and I were super excited to get going and were discussing how cold it was as we were covering our faces and fidgeting on the spot and looking at our watches.  We decided to let the group inside know we’re starting as we each had something to do right after our run. Of course mine was running to Yoga! 

Paul, one of my running buddies.

We started at a good pace and were feeling very good. I right away became aware of various textures of snow and slush being my least favourite as they get into my shoes and socks and remembered how I felt a few weeks ago after our long run. My toes did not come back to life until half way through hot yoga! Then I started feeling cold in my fingers. I always wear double gloves. But for some reason they were not helping me this morning. Bridget started telling Paul that she has frost bite kicked in and she has to get over it. Usually she feels fine 15 minutes into the run and it goes away. I was listening and thinking I really don’t like how cold my fingers are and thinking we haven’t even started yet. I kept thinking my hands are going to warm up and I’ll be fine. I told Bridget that I felt I was carrying a heavy block of ice cubes on each finger and how a deep sharp shooting pain under my nail bed was uncomfortable and my hands were heavy.  She said keep them moving and let the blood circulate. My legs were fine, my breathing was fine but the pain was becoming unbearable. I could not believe how in such a short time everything was changing.  I was expecting my toes would get freezing cold as they always do but not all my fingers! As we approached the intersection I turned to Bridget and said I can’t run I have to go back. She said go warm up before heading back. (I only had completed 3.97 or 21K). I ran to the gas station and I had no control over my voice. I was almost in tears asking the clerk if I could stay there and warm up. She nodded. I found a corner and tried to keep my fingers tucked under my arm pit. I felt like crying but there were no tears but rather the sound of anguish like my fingers being chopped off. It took me a good 10 to 15 minutes to get my composure back and ask her to call a cab for me. I was exhausted, burnt out, run down, and felt like I was defeated. I told the cab driver to go back to the running room for me to pick up my stuff and then went to my car. It was not until we got back to the running room that I felt so upset about not being able to run because of my cold fingers. I picked up my stuff and told one of the staff briefly what had happened and walked out quickly as I felt I was going to cry. I felt stupid. I felt angry. How could such a little thing prevent me from my long run.

As I sat in my car getting ready to go home, I checked the schedule for hot yoga. I was delighted to see a class was scheduled in ½ hour. I got to yoga told my instructor I've had a rough morning. She gave me a nice warm hug. I made myself a cup of tea and was still thinking what happened. I have run in colder temperatures with the same two pairs of gloves. Yes, my fingers have gotten cold and I have complained but then they had warmed up. Why was today different? 

“I have been a seeker and I still am, but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul.” ~ Rumi

After yoga which was what I needed, I got home and felt so weak and exhausted. The sun was shining through my kitchen window.  I fixed myself some tea and hazelnut chocolate and almonds. I tuned in to my fave meditation music and started writing about my experience.

Reflecting on my experience my thoughts are going back to this morning when I tweeted “A fresh layer of snow! Today is going to be more of a mental training than anything else.” I was referring to the long convoluted distance with many turns.  I was thinking I need to stay strong and mentally get through it. I wasn't thinking my legs are tired or I’m not feeling well. I certainly was not thinking I am going to have frost bite. It’s been a long, harsh and treacherous winter. I have dealt with all kinds of weather but today was not one of my good days. As I’m finishing this, environment Canada has issued Wind Chill advisory of -30s ;(

For now, I shall drink more tea and listen to more calm meditative music. Knowing I can put my running shoes back on again tomorrow. Or the day after the wind chill advisory has been lifted.

 You can follow me at @nomadicrunner45

Runners with a Purpose

My Saturday had started pretty early with two volunteering jobs, then taking my son to the basketball game. After I dropped him off at his dad’s for the weekend late that night, I was thinking of my long run for the next day. I got home and did not prepare my running gear and headed straight upstairs to bed.  I checked my Twitter  to see what was up and ended up following Fukuoka Marathon and was so exhausted that I did not set the alarm. I was thinking of staying in bed in the morning.

Sunday morning rolled around too fast and I was up at 6:30. I debated only for a few minutes to stay under the warm covers or to get ready to head out. As I’m recovering from a hamstring injury, I have been taking it easy for the past month doing more yoga, strength training, and short runs. Today’s long run was important to check my body and see how I’m coming along. Since I was not prepared, I was running around trying to find my stuff and of course ended up leaving my Garmin watch behind! (Tip: always prepare the night before).

Although I have been running for a few years on my own, I do realize how greatly I can benefit from running with a group. I learned that from my last experience when I was preparing for my first half marathon.  I drove to the Running Room. I introduced myself to the trainers, letting them know it was my first time joining them and that I was recovering from an injury.  I chose to run the shortest distance of 11K for my long run. I only started feeling some discomfort on my left glutes after 9K. But overall, a great 1^st long run after a month.

Our group was pretty awesome. We had Dan and Marisa the father –daughter team, Stephan the “Iron Man” , Devin, Angie, … and me. The group was open, warm, and welcoming. We all chatted and at the end of our run headed to Williams for coffee. It was nice to sit around the table and learn more about each other.  I was glad I had decided to go for my long run and I was fortunate to have come across this group of people; each a beautiful human being and willing to share a piece of themselves.

Running it is not just about numbers, paces, splits, and kilometers or the numerous health benefits from it. It is true that we motivate each other, we learn about the sport of running through sharing information, we pick up new techniques, but something else happens that is not really evident to the outside world.

At a deeper level, we start having meaningful growth and with it comes the wisdom of how we are all interconnected and how our actions or non actions can have an effect on all of us. Through my new friendships today, I realized that when we are honest about our feelings and intentions and share openly without censoring ourselves, others reciprocate, and the relationships become more meaningful.

I learned about a young boy named Adrian who started his battle with cancer at age 10 and lost his fight at age 21. He was a son to Dan and a brother to Marisa. They are a father-daughter team that runs every charity race to raise funds for cancer research. I hugged them and wanted to bawl my eyes out but I restrained myself only to cry several times at home thinking that I have a 9 year old and what if that was me?  But you could see how these two people were full of life and had nothing else to offer but warmth, kindness, and openness.

Through her voice filled with trust and appreciation for her husband’s love and support, Angie shared how she can’t have kids and that she is grateful for the support of her partner. We hugged a bit longer to tell each other we are safe sharing our stories and it’s not just about running.

At one point, our instructor Karen, who has a very warm and welcoming personality, started running alongside me and we chatted about a lot of things. I learned that she’s been running for a long time and recently had run a half marathon and a full marathon. She shared how she is going through a difficult divorce and the she has used the services of the London Abused Women Centre when she needed their help and they were there for her.  I reassured her that she will get through these turbulent times and if she needs support that I’d be there for her. At this point, Dan, who was running a bit ahead of us turned around with a big smile and said “Me too”. We actually stopped for a short group hug.  I admire people like Karen who have experienced setbacks and obstacles but are able to keep their head high and look forward to the future, wearing a big smile and giving warmth and love to those around them.

Running in a group provides ground for healing through sharing and support.  We are runners with a purpose.  Whether it’s overcoming grief, fighting depression, fighting cancer, fighting disappointments, or setbacks. We run not only to stay healthy mentally and physically but also try to defeat something that has tried to cast a shadow on our lives.

I still cherish running by myself. In my last blog, I talked about how running has helped me with my depression. Mother Earth is my sanctuary and running allows me freedom to explore my soul and nature at the same time. I hear my own internal voice and I hear nature talking back to me.

Regardless of whether I’m running with a group or by myself, when someone passes me by I wonder if he or she is a runner with a specific purpose.

 My Sanctuary

 My Sanctuary

Just Another Long Run

It was a cool September morning. While holding the camera, anxiously waiting for my daughter to appear, I cheered for runners of various ages as they crossed the finish line. I started thinking about running a half marathon. Why not? I could be one of these people coming through finish line.

I took many pictures of my smiling daughter and I was proud of her for training on her own and accomplishing her goal.

My daughter and I have been running for a few years as a regular part of our work outs and have been motivating each other. We also had done a couple of 5K races. But none of us really thought of running hard core races like half marathons or marathons. This past spring, my daughter asked for “The Competitive Runner’s Handbook” by Bob Glover and Shelly-lynn Florence Glover, started training for her first half marathon, and successfully completed the race.

When she heard that the London Lady’s Half Marathon was being held in November in London, she registered herself as a runner and I told her to register me as a walker. I am a very fast walker and have done very long distances. After being a spectator of a very exciting ½ marathon race, I no longer wanted to walk but to run.   I sent an email to the organizers of the race and requested the change. The reply came that my race was changed from walk to run. 

I was extremely excited. I copied my daughter’s previous training with some adjustment as I only had 7 weeks left to the race. I also emailed the organizers letting them know I was interested in their free training program. We had speed training on Wednesdays and long runs on Sundays. In between, I continued my own training which included yoga, circuit training, and shorter runs. September 18^th was my first time with the group and I really enjoyed it. It was great to be part of a team and receive feedback. The group was composed of people of various ages and abilities. Some were pro marathon runners, some pro half marathoners, and some were like me - this being their first half marathon. Then came the Sunday long run and I was extremely nervous. I ran my very first long run of 10K the day before my birthday this past August. Then another day I had ran 12K. I started running with the group and there were a couple of experienced runners that I just stayed with throughout the run. Sometimes I ran shoulder to shoulder with them and sometimes I just kept the pace right behind them. We chatted and had a great time finishing the long run. Surprisingly I did really well for my first very long run of 18.4K. My team was very supportive and gave me a lot of positive feedback that I had done very well and had easily kept up. I really enjoyed being with our group.

After that run I had greater confidence in myself. My goal originally was to be able to cross the finish line. After my long run I realized I could complete the race and actually do it with a decent time of not more than 2.5 hours. But then when I had another long run a few weeks later and ran 21.1 Km with time of 2:11.00 I aimed for finishing the ½ marathon in just less than 2 hours. I was told I was very ambitious with my time as a first time runner.

 But then in October 9^th, I started feeling something sharp under my left toe. I took my sock off to examine my toe as it felt like I had a sharp thorn stuck in my toe but there was nothing. Then I checked the carpet. I went for my speed training but did not do very well and I attributed it to being tired and not being a night runner. I did not complete the training as I was feeling a sharp pain travelling from my left glute to hamstring down to my toe. I rested that night and did not work out for the next 7 days. I did research online and found out I had sciatica that is common in runners and started doing specific yoga and using foam rollers. I was fearful that I may not be able to get back where I was. I started running again. In one of my long runs I had to run very slowly as I had severe cramps coming and going. Then my goal changed again. I wanted only to finish the race.

The speed training and the long runs had helped me to improve my time and become a better runner. The last long run before the race I felt great. It was a beautiful sunny chilly fall morning. We were all feeling happy and had a good run. 

The team headed out for a huge breakfast to celebrate our accomplishments. The atmosphere was filled with optimism, laughter, appreciation and we all got a #1Cup full of jelly beans.

The day of the race I was only thinking positive thoughts and thinking of Lanni Marchant. I had tweeted telling her that I find re-assurances through her experience. She was able to overcome her injury and bounce back, finishing her marathon with record-breaking results. Although my goal was not to break any records, Lanni’s story was a great source of inspiration for me.

But there was also another woman who became my beacon of hope that day. Ruth is an experienced runner with some good ½ marathon races under her belt. Her warm smile and genuine caring attitude is hard to miss. I was running with my daughter and she was running with her daughter. We both had conversations that they would finish before us. I started my race really well and felt good except that I had to stop for the bloody bathroom break. I decided after the 1^st bathroom break that this will be costly and ridiculous. I told myself, “You have to find mental toughness and defeat the urge of wanting to go”. That was that.

I kept running behind Ruth and her daughter. My daughter had pulled away and I could see her bright neon colored top with her long hair. I kept saying you go baby.

Then around 17.5 Km I started feeling small contractions happening in my hamstrings. During the last 3 Km, the pain became steady and was growing in intensity. Ruth became my beacon of hope. I told myself that as long as I have her in front of me, I’d be OK. She was running a steady pace and I just kept up with her. I had a few options: to stop, to walk, or to just keep going. I kept going but fixed my eyes on Ruth. I said, “Just keep up with her. This is just another Sunday long run.” Then just like that, I saw the huge clock showing 2:08 as I was passing it and I crossed the finish line. Our daughters were waiting for us with open arms and smiles. I made my way to Ruth first and gave her a big hug and said thank you. I then turned to my daughter and told her I was proud of her and she said she was proud of me. We took some pictures and there were more hugs and kind words being exchanged.

"Ruth and I with our lovely daughters"

I told my daughter that I was in trouble and needed to put warm clothes on and that I needed some pain killers. She ran to the medics who said they did not have meds and could not give me any. They did not have cold packs or hot packs! Ruth came to my rescue with Ibuprofen. I had my post recovery drink I had made that morning. I had some bananas and told my daughter that if I stop moving that that will be the end of me. We started walking so very slowly towards home. It was only a few kilometers but that was just what I needed. As we were walking, I told my daughter that if it were not for the cramps I would have finished in under 2 hours. Later on when we plugged our watches to analyze our time, this was confirmed. My last 3K was the slowest.

Right after the race - "Smile is pushing through pain"

  

For me, running this half marathon was very special at many levels:

It is true that I have been running for a sometime. In fact, running for me is a form of therapy. This is not just a cliché. You see, I have been dealing with depression for the longest time. I can’t take any meds as my body is very sensitive and reacts forcibly. I run to get rid of whatever is on my mind. To remove the fog, the stress, the sadness, the anger, the ambiguity, the doubt, the confusion, and whatever else that depression brings with it. When I run, I feel free. I don’t have to answer to anyone. I’m running away from everything metaphorically until I feel I’m ready to go back.

I have been going through some difficult stuff in my personal life for the past few years and running this race was very symbolic for me. For the first time in my life, I faced the enemy (pain) and did not run away from it. I finished the race on my terms. This was my very first big race of any kind. I ran my 21.1K and I got my time of 2:06 as per my Garmin. Nobody can take my time away! Nobody can take away the feeling I had at the end of the race either. It was not happiness or excitement per se but rather a feeling of gratitude, accomplishment, empowerment, strength during vulnerable times, and overall knowledge that I have been a survivor since I can remember. And it’s that ability that allowed me to run my race.

Unfortunately, my time and race were posted wrong that night.  I contacted the organizers saying I was right behind my friend and they had seen me running and finishing the race. They have not been able to provide a straight answer and to fix the results. The race results show me as a walker with a time of 3.5 hours. I was told my chip must have been triggered due to close proximity to sensors. It has been very disappointing in terms of posted results and how it was handled. 


I literally got an email while I was writing this blog and was told they watched my video and my time will be recorded as 2:07.53. It took 11 days but I'm relieved knowing my time will eventually be posted correctly. I am going to think of November 3, 2013 as another Sunday long run. My time and race was not posted correctly (waiting to see amended published results). There were no medals. There is no picture of me crossing the line. Therefore, I choose not to call it my first official half marathon race. I have learned to pay attention to details of any race I sign up for and to choose wisely.

For me, my personal achievement is the highlight of that day. I know I ran 21.1K and I know I did really well for a middle aged rookie with injured hamstrings. I plan to run other half marathon races. My daughter and I will be running our fist full marathon together next fall as well.

 Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon! Here we come....

It is about FREEDOM!

Image Credit: Truerunner.tumblr.com

Human beings are made up of flesh and blood, 
and a miracle fiber called courage.

-George Patton

My Canoe Trip to Oneida Settlement

My friend, Rose, had told me about the upcoming canoe trip and I was so excited to take part in this meaningful and exciting journey. A group of people were to canoe from London to the Oneida Settlement to experience the traditional culture.

For myself, the trip has become memorable in many ways. I value and respect Mother Earth and the beauty that surrounds me every day. The canoe trip offered me a chance to see wild flowers by the river bank, bald eagles flying high above, a deer running through the woods, turtles bathing in the sun, numerous species of birds singing their beautiful songs, the changing landscape, and the gorgeous blue sky that somehow was bluer than usual.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

There were moments of excitement like pointing to a giant snapping turtle or rushing to pick up items from a tipped over canoe. But there were many opportunities to meditate and be at peace and to take it all in.  There were times that I felt so peaceful and happy loving the warm sun, the cool breeze, listening to the gentle flow of the river. I felt a great sense of gratitude and appreciation for the new experiences and how fortunate I was to enjoy Mother Earth and all its beauty.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

As we were setting up tents for our first stop at Delaware flats, I could not wait to settle down for the night and just enjoy sitting by the campfire. When the time came, I was content. There were many moments where I was able to meditate and be one with the nature around me. Staring into the fire, wind blowing the smoke over my whole body, the sun setting down, wild flowers shining under the glow of the sun’s rays, the sound of the river gently rushing by, the birds trying to sing one last song at dusk, the stars showing up one by one and all of a sudden having a sparkling blanket above. People talked about many topics, there were serious discussions and many moments of laughter followed by moments of reflection.

Tim Miller of Nova Craft and his wife Theresa  who live close by the area joined us that night, treating us with smores. I was glad to have met these people who generously donated all the canoes for the trip and were great hosts, welcoming us to their home and sharing their knowledge and expertise.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

The next day, I woke up early feeling happy, well-rested, and cheerful. I stayed quiet for the longest time listening to the river, the birds, and was intentional of about my experience. I wanted to remember how the air smelled in the morning, and how I was feeling. I loved being in nature and for the first time in my life, I had slept so close to the river that it’s gentle flow was music to my soul. Finally, I could not keep it all in and said out loud “This is beautiful, I LOVE THIS” and the reply came, “Oh shut up”! It was a gorgeous morning to wake up to. Some people had already kept the fire going and brewed fresh coffee. I really loved the experience.

Our second day of canoeing was calmer and there were more meaningful reflections about myself and how I related to the world around me. There were some fun times in between as well. We had a great laugh when Mike had picked up some wild flowers from the river bank and came close to our canoe saying “Hey warrier princess, I got flowers for you”, then they all started calling me Pocahontas. (Photo to come)

When we got to the Oneida Settlement we noticed Oneidas waiting on the bridge for us holding the sixnations flag, waving to us saying welcome to our home. I got teary eyes filled with emotion and gratitude, thinking I was only a spec in this universe and it is through humanity, spiritual connection with the nature, and respecting those who were here before us that we can find peace. When we got off our canoes and stepped to the grounds, the paddlers who were of First Nation background walked towards us and started shaking hands and hugging us with big smiles and nodding heads; implying the success and the value the journey had in it. This also is one of the highlights of the trip for me to remind me that we are all here on this planet together and we have a lot more in common than we know.

Oneida Settlement

We drove to the cookhouse, and as we entered we were greeted by friendly faces and welcomed with open arms.  The feast they had prepared for us was great and we all enjoyed sitting around the long tables taking it all in.

That night there was more campfires and good company with an added bonus. We took part in their social event. We went to the longhouse, which was made of beautiful oak wood with the traditional design. I was most impressed by how young people took charge of the ceremony - chanting, singing, and dancing, while the elders sat back and watched over them. They had strong and beautiful voices. Again, here I had mixed feelings of joy and spiritual connection. At times I closed my eyes to only listen to their voices and imagining myself hundreds of years ago on these grounds dancing and chanting with them and going in a circle. I did get a chance to join in and dance with them. I was delighted with the experience. Being welcomed to their circle and to experience this spiritual connection is something that I will keep with me forever.

Longhouse

The next morning, Chief Howard Elija came over to share his wisdom and history of his people. He performed the cleansing ceremony with sage and we became emotional at times and some of us had teary eyes. As human beings, some of the deep connections we make with each other do not require words or acknowledgment. We can feel each other’s pain or joy in our body and soul. When the chief was done I asked him if I could hug him. I found peace in his arms.

When I got home I looked at the many photos that had captured the spirit of our team and the purpose of the trip. One of the pictures stood out. The one with Chief Howard Elijah of Oneida put a smile on my face and at the same time a sadness washed over me that I could not explain. Upon reflection, I started crying realizing after many years of not having my dad, on Father’s day, I had been in the company of someone who not only reminded me of my dad, but in a short period of time I had come to admire and respect as a spiritual and community leader.

Upon further reflection and going back over the sequence of events, I realized the magnitude and impact of my interactions with the chief and his people.  The gradual spiritual experience had silently begun with Rose sharing the canoe trip with me and extending an invitation for me to go along with her. I had been really excited not only for the long distance canoeing but also to experience the first nation culture up close and personal. I was humbled and honored to have been invited to their home and to take part in their traditional social event. I was grateful to have experienced the spiritual journey as well as having met fantastic people who paddled with us.

Photo Credit: Rose Braxton

The beauty of the trees,

the softness of the air,

the fragrance of the grass,

speaks to me.

The summit of the mountain,

the thunder of the sky,

the rhythm of the sea,

speaks to me.

The strength of the fire,

the taste of salmon,

the trail of the sun,

and the life that never goes away,

they speak to me.

And my heart soars."

Chief Dan George

Related Article: Paddlers Learn to Use Their Brains - The London Free Press

Facebook Page: Paddling Back to Traditional Culture - Thank you to Barry Gallow and Tim Miller and everyone else who had a role in planning this trip. Please like their page and show support.

AS A DECADE FADES

I was randomly searching minimalism one day when I came across Joshua Fields Millburn’s name and his novel, “As a Decade Fades”. He had tweeted a specific line that resonated with me and I didn’t need convincing to go online and order his book.  When the book arrived I could not put it down. 

As a Decade Fades is an easy read. It is simple, yet complicated.  Jody’s story is our story in many ways and it is not in some ways. The reader is hooked not by extravagant use of words and complicated plots, but we are pulled in as we read about real life experiences like our own.

There is a nice balance between humor and tragedy. There are points in our lives where we question ourselves and the paths we’ve have walked. Is it time for a detour?  

“He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but one day he woke up halfway between somewhere and nowhere and he was twenty-something and nearing thirty as the decade faded.”

As I read  “…Safety inside the prison –freedom from freedom….” , I closed my book listening to Chopin. I went back in time, remembering when I opened my one suitcase on a bed of a settlement, temporary housing for refugees. I felt safe and optimistic about my future, but sad knowing what I had left behind. A single suitcase on a bed was loaded with tragic and triumphant stories.  Jody’s story was my story.

Jody’s character keeps reminding himself to focus on the present and leave the past behind. But we truly can never separate ourselves from our pasts. “…how pointless this life might be without a past, and how miserable it was with one.”

Falling While Sitting Down – “The boy did not want to remember much about that Man, so he didn’t.” His childhood was filled with various forms of abuse and trauma. He really did not have supervision or role model of any kind growing up.“…the boy made friends with various elements of certain fringe social blocs….but he never attempted to adapt to their tenets or fully integrate into any one particular group…”  I just wanted to reach out inside the book and hold little Jody. Jody grew up like the rest of us with “…a duffle bag filled with painful memories and future regrets.”

I love music, rain, solitude at times, I don’t  sleep well most of the times, have had failed relationships, lost people due to natural causes or suicide,….in so many ways Jody is us and we are him. When he is sitting on the rooftop writing his songs and thinking about the rain… that is the most beautiful part for me. “But things hadn’t always been this way, and his life hadn’t always been held together by trepidation and disdain and by the sum of what love wasn’t.” Or when he writes for his mom, “People don’t know how to love the ones they love until they disappear from their lives”. We all have lost people in our lives and in that moment we can relate to Jody and what he is feeling.

Jody’s adult sex life is filled with extremely beautiful young women that are described mostly as Caucasians, with blond hair, with perfect slim bodies and FLAT STOMACHS! This is exactly what a patriarchal society tells us a beautiful woman should look like!  There is a brief reference where the author tries to challenge society’s patriarchic view of women by posing this question: “How come guys can have sex with all kinds of women and we’re considered manly or whatever, but if a women has more than one partner, she’s a slut?”  But the conversation that follows is of sex humor and more misogynistic comments. 

I found the speeding ticket part of the book extremely funny.  I got my first ever speeding ticket last year when I was taking my sick child and myself to the doctor’s office and was feeling miserable. The officer said: “Maam, you were going 78 in 50 Km zone!” All I could think was **** I wasn’t even blasting my favourite song or rolling my window down and changing lanes. What a shitty way to get a ticket! As a Decade Fades provides the reader with an experience that is very personal. You’d think that was me! I did that or said that. The whole car ride with the music and jokes was hilarious.

“Sometimes love is sad. Sometimes it drops your heart from a great height and it shatters into a million tiny shards, and those shards are sharp and painful.” And of course the story cannot be without love and heartache. There are many simple but profound lines in the book that deal with love and relationships and who we are. 

Jody shows us that we are not perfect. We may have had a rough childhood and many unpleasant experiences growing up and even throughout our adult lives. That is the reality of life. We will face many struggles and triumphs. As a Decade fades says it best: “Perhaps one must sit in the valley to see the beauty of the mountaintop, to appreciate his ascent, to live a purpose-filled life. And perhaps the key is to not live in the valley, but rather, to be aware of why you were there and prepare for the journey ahead.”

I enjoyed reading As a Decade Fades as it reminded me I am only human and I am entitled to make mistakes and to learn from them. It also teaches us about hope and optimism, although I feel like I have to read a follow up story to learn about Jody’s life in Ohio with the “Girl in the White Summer Dress”.

“Lie by me, we can be alone together. 

Lie to me, we can believe these lies forever.”